wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
