i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
