found the other keg... it's in the tree
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
