You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
