My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
