I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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