please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize