My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
