Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
