Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
