I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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