So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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