she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize