For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
