i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
