My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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