I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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