Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
