That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
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fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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