hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
