Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
