oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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