dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
please come you make the beer taste better
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
