It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
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so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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