Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
