Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
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I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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