I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
