I hate your face
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
