I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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