Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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  (281): Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table. http://tfl.nu/g0qe
  Replies (10) Good night (3755) Bad night (721)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one

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  (740): i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one http://tfl.nu/4erg
  Replies (19) Good night (3852) Bad night (1125)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.

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  (512): I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah. http://tfl.nu/atyf
  Replies (22) Good night (4739) Bad night (919)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

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  (505): These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?" http://tfl.nu/1vuh
  Replies (8) Good night (1426) Bad night (3644)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.

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  (709): ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome. http://tfl.nu/2x6n
  Replies (8) Good night (4286) Bad night (1137)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.

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  (250): Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party. http://tfl.nu/dnix
  Replies (4) Good night (3442) Bad night (958)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me

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  (+44): i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me http://tfl.nu/srm7
  Replies (9) Good night (1055) Bad night (3123)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.

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  (501): Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend. http://tfl.nu/du0y
  Replies (7) Good night (3248) Bad night (668)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear

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  (416): Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear http://tfl.nu/hv34
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (571)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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  (207): I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered. http://tfl.nu/1qcp
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (803)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

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  (845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (644)
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  (310): View more from California

  What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

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  (310): What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business. http://tfl.nu/a4r2
  Replies (5) Good night (2352) Bad night (629)
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  (619): View more from California

  Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.

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  (619): Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming. http://tfl.nu/68ul
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (506)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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  (708): You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice. http://tfl.nu/p63x
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (393)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.

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  (203): the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law. http://tfl.nu/eqhh
  Replies (6) Good night (827) Bad night (254)

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