Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I must be too annoying 4 u.

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(810): I must be too annoying 4 u. http://tfl.nu/bqrs

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(310): View more from California

she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

(1-310): View more from California

ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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(310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol. (1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick. http://tfl.nu/aucq

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(904): View more from Florida

He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".

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(904): He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator". http://tfl.nu/yo1x

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(856): View more from New Jersey

They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

(646): View more from New York

Tell them they are ugly.

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(856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1

Replies (8) Good night (3833) Bad night (995)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.

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(724): I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo. http://tfl.nu/korz

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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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(905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa

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(847): View more from Illinois

All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.

(773): View more from Illinois

that bad?

(847): View more from Illinois

u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.

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(847): All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die. (773): that bad? (847): u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a. http://tfl.nu/aht0

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.

(1+44): View more from

Doesn't she keep a spare?

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.

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(+44): You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys. (1+44): Doesn't she keep a spare? (+44): Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans. http://tfl.nu/5sic

Replies (7) Good night (2504) Bad night (689)
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(714): View more from California

Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

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(714): Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee. http://tfl.nu/zv29

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

IT'S SUMMA TIME

(907): View more from Alaska

ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

THEY'RE THE SAME THING

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(570): IT'S SUMMA TIME (907): ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME (570): THEY'RE THE SAME THING http://tfl.nu/6h0w

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(619): View more from California

Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.

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(619): Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear. http://tfl.nu/20ls

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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(815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1

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(409): View more from Texas

My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.

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(409): My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty. http://tfl.nu/rx6s

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(562): View more from California

Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...

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(562): Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell... http://tfl.nu/1xl3

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(913): View more from Kansas

I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.

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(913): I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath. http://tfl.nu/ml02

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