Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.