Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
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You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.