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I must be too annoying 4 u.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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