Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

Um, that's called prostitution

(773): View more from Illinois

Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): Um, that's called prostitution (773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money http://tfl.nu/jjue

Replies (4) Good night (2858) Bad night (676)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie

Replies (13) Good night (4232) Bad night (973)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do. http://tfl.nu/lc9b

Replies (8) Good night (3575) Bad night (874)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss http://tfl.nu/8437

Replies (22) Good night (5289) Bad night (659)
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it. http://tfl.nu/r7km

Replies (12) Good night (6068) Bad night (1171)
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka. http://tfl.nu/p6nb

Replies (7) Good night (5764) Bad night (1276)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Come over. Drunk tacos.

(1-214): View more from Texas

That isn't even a sentence.

(214): View more from Texas

I kept the important parts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Come over. Drunk tacos. (1-214): That isn't even a sentence. (214): I kept the important parts. http://tfl.nu/2pq0

Replies (8) Good night (4923) Bad night (1024)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax. http://tfl.nu/bw4v

Replies (8) Good night (1049) Bad night (1878)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match" http://tfl.nu/jczj

Replies (11) Good night (2096) Bad night (1212)
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES http://tfl.nu/oz7x

Replies (2) Good night (1831) Bad night (695)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tgoh

Replies (11) Good night (1290) Bad night (583)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen http://tfl.nu/pozx

Replies (3) Good night (1916) Bad night (559)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e

Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (423)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting. http://tfl.nu/ok3b

Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (245)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class http://tfl.nu/k94d

Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (175)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard