Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!