She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
