Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
