Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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