okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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