READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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