Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
