Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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