My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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