If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
