I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize