I love black thongs
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
