I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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