I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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