Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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