I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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