when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
