Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize