yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
