Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
