You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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