Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
