i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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