you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
