What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
