There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
