hotel room ftw
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize