...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
